[ i am meat puppet ]

1 second cameo

2009-10-02T11:45:00.004-05:00

Even though I was only onscreen for 1 second it was such a fun day. It's always a pleasure to work with Pirate Pictures.

Click here for the trailer

Something POSITIVE!

2009-09-19T16:42:00.003-05:00

All right. So there's no one to blame but myself. I haven't been going out to auditions for what I believe to be quite some time, even though it's only been 2 months since I've worked last. With that said I've been taking for granted how difficult auditioning really is.

And you know what? I miss it! I miss the headache of researching material and the repetitive line memorization techniques and the all out nerve wracking process of generals...

I went to audition for a theater company today that was casting their entire season (which is normal) and I brought a piece that I transcribed from a television show. For the first time in a long time I was absolutely frigid with nervousness while in the waiting room. "Have I got my lines down cold?", "Did I warm up enough?", "I should have broken this scene down more.", "Am I over analyzing this?!"

But you know what? As soon as I stepped one foot in the auditioning room and looked across at the 7 or 8 directors/assistant directors/producers/etc. behind the table everything went out the window. All of the years of training kicked in and I was on! They all laughed (not fake laughed) at the material and even took the time afterward to ask me "Wow! What was that from? That was great!" And I hustled out of there with this overwhelming feeling of "Holy crap! I did it! I got back on the horse after all this time and I feel great!" Not only did I make an impression but they actually enjoyed my performance!

I didn't get a call back.

But that's not really what I cared about. While driving home I felt on top of the world because instead of sitting at home watching television thinking "I could do that better" I got off my ass and performed new work for a group of people and I know they enjoyed it. So what if I don't look the part--that I can't change. But this audition was that shot of adrenaline that I psychologically needed so badly for so long and I didn't realize it until it happened.

I got out of my car, smoked a cigarette, and threw up almost immediately afterward. Ate a couple bites of a sandwich and my stomach has been nauseous the rest of the day.

But psychologically I still feel great! And you know what? That's how I know I love what I do. :)

clacka lacka

2009-03-03T23:22:00.000-06:00

Scripts 'N Screwz "Big City Lights" music video from Jordan Wyatt on Vimeo.

you know what would be nice...?

2009-02-18T13:07:00.007-06:00

It would be nice if the people creating "lo/no budget" film projects here in St. Louis actually had money to offer their actors, instead of just copy and credit. Why you ask? because a) It would attract better talent and b) It would encourage repeat work. You have money for film and equipment rental, right? Then why squelch out on who you're putting in front of the camera? Aren't we kind of an important part in your story?

Seriously...Here is just a quick rundown of film audition notices from the current page(2/18/09) of stlauditions.com:

"Actors will not be paid for their work. They will be fed and given DVD copies of the film once post production is completed."

"This is an independent project. We will provide a copy of the show on DVD as well as food and drink on shooting days. There will be no pay associated with this job."

"Pay Rate: Non- Union, Non-Paying"

"This is a very low budget series so this is not a paying job but you will receive credit as well as the season you are in on DVD."

"This is a great opportunity to develop your craft, build your demo reel and gain exposure from film festivals."

Wow, a slice of pizza and credit on a film that will be submitted (not necessarily accepted) to film festivals...and which ones? The film festival of eastern nowhere? I've produced a film that toured the festival circuit and that is a difficult task in itself which takes time and lots of money. Money that you obviously don't have if you're not paying your actors. The only tangible thing the actor would get (besides heartburn from cold pizza) is a copy of the film...which brings me to another point:

Now I have been training and working and learning continually as an actor for over eight years now, and I am beginning to get sick of seeing these notices. I understand that "everyone needs to start out somewhere", but the thought of a bad performance helping to create new bad film shorts makes me ache with disgust. Why take the time to create a film short if you're going to put inexperienced actors in it anyway? Do you take lots of time and patience to make exotic tasty crepes then fill them with dirt? Save that sh*t for film school. That's what it's for.

Maybe I'm wrong...maybe you're a new filmmaker who has the next big blockbuster smash hit that has everyone sobbing and weeping on the inside but just has enough action in it to keep people watching...maybe one day you'll win dozens upon dozens of awards and it was all because hardworking people devoted their time and effort to you because they believe in you and your work, and it wasn't about the money for them...maybe if critics would just realize that you're putting up the money for this project and you don't have an infinite saving account and the success of all of this depends on how you can get this product out to people and try to make some kind of a living off of it...

...or maybe you should just quit screwing around with a project unless you can execute it professionally (ie. with an executive producer that can front the money needed for everything...then you get to learn about contracts and the "business" end of show business)

Maybe then everything would be less about getting crap out there and more about quality of work...wouldn't that be nice?

simply laughable audition notices.2

2009-02-11T14:30:00.005-06:00

Originally I wasn't going to pick on the poor soul who posted this notice but you know what? I can't help myself. It looks like it was written by a 6th grader. And isn't all crime considered illegal? I can see it now...

Mayor: From now on, all crime is declared illegal!

Criminal: Awww, damn...I guess I have to stop committing crimes...

...also, -2 for spelling.

simply laughable audition notices.1

2009-02-11T14:17:00.004-06:00

Dear actor/model newbies:

You're smart. Smart enough to see through crappy model/actor calls. Smart enough to know the difference between "aspire" and "inspire"...at least I hope you are.

This guy isn't.

The Bloody Olive

2008-12-15T19:54:00.002-06:00

updated!

2008-10-23T16:19:00.001-05:00

New news in the professional world:

http://alandavid.wordpress.com/

[s]

marketing venture

2008-08-18T12:53:00.004-05:00

In the interest of securing residual income, I've decided to start a cafepress. Don't know if it will fly or not, but hopefully someone shares the same warped humor that I have.

And now for my shameless plug:

Click on the photo to the left to visit the site! Smear the word! Be the first kid on your block to sport a "Professional Waiter" t-shirt! Let all your industry friends know that [ i am meat puppet ] is now wearable!

Yes, I'm alive.

2008-08-08T19:48:00.000-05:00

No, I do not have anything eloquent to say.

fire breathing super atomic badasses...

2008-06-09T13:14:00.002-05:00

From time to time I get so inundated with projects that I don't have time to stop and remember why I chose to do this "acting" as a profession. This is both good (I'm working) and bad (I lose focus) and it just hit me today that I haven't stopped to smell the roses, so to speak.

So I thank my good friends for taking a moment to remind me why I do what I do. I enjoy the work. It's long, boring, grueling days and nights, but the rewards run deep and the satisfaction is unequaled with anything else I've come to know. I'm broke, yes, and have agreed to that and realize that I may be broke for the rest of my life. It's just one of the trade-offs.

The important thing is that I'm re-aligning myself with the reasons why I do this in the first place, and that's important when you want to do something for as long as you can.

To all of you who support me, I am grateful.

let's play a game...

2008-05-06T16:16:00.003-05:00

So standing around at work the other day, Stephanie and I created this game. I'll call it the "I love You Game", or ILYG. It's really easy to play. All you have to do is say "Dear [blank]. I love you more than [blank]...but not as much as [blank]." The blanks should be loosely related to each other. Points are awarded on creativity and the ability to make someone laugh so hard their drink would squirt out their nose.

I'll start:

"Advertising for the Mob" premieres in July

2008-04-29T15:01:00.006-05:00

“You’re too stupid to be a criminal! No wait, that would be insulting to criminals!”

...his Boss said as Truman was fired from his 12th Advertising Agency. With these words still ringing in his ears, Truman decides to start his own “Family Business”.

Along with 3 friends, 4 zoot suits and a hot italian bartender...they’re in business.

How does a bumbling Advertising Executive, News Director, Graffiti Artist and Video Producer create a successful and feared crime family? Easy...

...one fake crime at a time.

http://advertisingforthemob.com/

i drew a pretty picture for you.

2008-03-25T19:15:00.001-05:00

(it's not based on any actual event.)

re-aligning identity

2008-02-26T16:10:00.002-06:00

I recently took the time to work on a "business-related" site on wordpress.com. Feel free to view it here. I'm happier now that I have a reel I like.

latest photo shoot

2008-02-20T15:14:00.006-06:00

A few from my last shoot courtesy of Patrick Lanham. It was a good session.

baby product = danger

2008-02-04T21:53:00.001-06:00

My initial reaction to the headline "Study warns of baby product danger" was the following:

1. Babies produce poop.
2. Their poop is their product.
3. Baby poop is dangerous.
4. I have always known this.

time warp

2008-02-04T15:19:00.000-06:00

Everyone likes being nostalgic once in awhile. I was surfing the internets today when I came across this website called abandonia. Touting DOS based games, I believe it's a must-go-to-site for anyone who has had (and loved) a Commodore 64.

Now I'm computer savvy enough to figure my way around things, but I don't subscribe my life to it anymore. Haven't for a long time. Back in the day I played the games, I BBSed old-school, I went to the "events". All of that stuff will hold a special place in my memories and now with this site I can go back and play whenever I want.

Look, you want a place where you can find and play the original 1986 version of Tetris? Or how about Lode Runner? Remember that one? Feeling a bit frisky? Download Wing Commander or Ultima VI. From plain text to some wickedly pixalated graphics, all of your 80s and 90s games are here. Check it out.

content

2008-02-03T12:18:00.001-06:00

I don't have anything for today, either. But I thought this was pretty funny.

correlation?

2008-01-14T20:37:00.000-06:00

I find logging onto the internet akin to walking into a record shop when you know what you like but don't exactly remember the name of the artist. Or like staring at a giant piece of white paper when you're holding a piece of charcoal or a paintbrush in your hand deliberating on that first mark. It can be quite daunting or a little overwhelming when you don't know where to begin.

Just standing on the side of the information superhighway wondering which direction to go while millions of people scream past you in a huff.

couples service announcement

2008-01-07T11:10:00.000-06:00

In the interest of safety, alterity, and time management The Federal Administration of Cognomens (TFAC) in association with The South Side Administrative Council (TSSAC) advises the following couples refer to each other herein as:

Maria & Soupy = Marioupy*
Jen & Bunny = Jeunny
Jason & Kate = Jate
Dave & Amy = Damy
Theresa & Damien = Theramien
Scott & Bridget = Scidget
Derek & Becky = Decky
Shawn & Rachel = Shachel

Please note proper usage of the shiny new pseudonyms:

eg. "Hey, honey, why don't you call up Theramien and see what they're up to?"
eg. "I just bumped into Damy. They're up at Mangia. Wanna go?"

Participation is voluntary though slightly recommended, as are additions to this list.

Thank you,
Management.

* As of January 9, 2008 Marioupy shall be changed to Marsoupial per legislative order. Management reserved the right to a hissy fit before said changes occurred.

holiday question for all

2007-12-20T17:33:00.000-06:00

About a week ago I was at a holiday party munching on a gingerbread man when it dawned on me: "I wonder what part of a gingerbread man people go for first?" I figure the large tasty head would be the obvious choice, but this is where I need your help. If you would, please answer the poll below.

Remember, it's for posterity's sake, so be honest.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

*Poll is now closed. Thank you for your input. I will take all of the accumulated information and make a lovely pie chart... Okay, no. I won't.

antonym of mental constipation .1.3

2007-11-27T12:11:00.000-06:00

So if the word "Blog" is short for "Web log", do I call my Photographic Blog a "Phblog"? How do I pronounce that?

"Fffffllllaaaabbbbbllllooog."

Well, in lieu of actual content for today I decided to stick a picture of myself on here. Ain't I humble...

go ahead...break my cookies.

2007-10-10T16:25:00.000-05:00

After reading an article in the New York Times about how fortune cookies are "now serving up some surprisingly downbeat advice", I've decided to share a few of my favorite (ahem) ideas for cookie slogans

Double-Click on cookies to open:

...not for the feint of heart

2007-10-07T21:42:00.001-05:00

I have to hand it to Katie...

2007-10-05T12:14:00.000-05:00

This one's pretty good:

schmap

2007-10-03T16:38:00.000-05:00

I am now a published photographer. Although, in the grand scheme of things this is ultimately not that much considering anyone can pretty much have a published photo, but it makes me feel warm and happy in my tummy, SO BACK OFF.

Ahem. Anyway, Schmap is basically an online tour guide with pretty pictures and lots of useful information for trips. It's free to the public and is fairly easy to use.

You can check out my photo in the newly released third edition of the Schmap Florida Keys Guide. It's one of three photos under "Holiday Isle Resort".

unfit to blog?

2007-09-23T14:25:00.000-05:00

How is it that when I'm in a good mood I don't feel like blogging, but when I'm not feeling so hot I post relentlessly?

I got stung in the eyeball by something yesterday. Ruined my plans for the evening. I blame the spider that lurks in my room.

Our original deal: You don't bite me, I don't smash your little body into spider gooey-ness. I assume he didn't hold up his end of the bargain so now I'm on a warpath.

dance bitch.

2007-09-18T00:09:00.001-05:00

dance.

stop motion animation

2007-09-12T00:39:00.000-05:00

...so I figured out how to make stop motion animations today. Look at what I've been wasting my time making! Mom would be so proud!

jumpcut

2007-09-10T22:47:00.000-05:00

I just discovered jumpcut. It is my new friend and I will use it for evil.

Naah.

Here's Drew and Derrick putting the hurt on a poor unusable tape:

on passing away

2007-09-04T12:12:00.000-05:00

A man that I did not know too well passed away last Friday. But he was someone I grew to respect. He was an excellent teacher and I feel like I missed an opportunity to get to know him better. But he did give me something a long time ago. He was the second director that I've ever worked for and he gave me an opportunity with a role I never thought I could pull off.

Here are some of his words:

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home...even, a life.
The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitude."

Bob Lauman, 2000

Thank you for helping me reach my dream, Bob. Thanks for giving me a chance. I choose to have a positive attitude.

[s]

...but it's dark in there!

2007-08-30T13:31:00.001-05:00

it will not end here.

2007-08-22T15:52:00.000-05:00

In a message directed to [pbrstreetgang]: This is only the beginning, my fine feathered friend. There is only one path we may take from this moment onward.

The subjugated dinosaur people will rise again! And soon you will feel the wrath of GimpShop 2.2.8!

brief passage or excerpt .1.

2007-06-21T17:06:00.000-05:00

Sometimes one comes up with a really great line for a movie, although there is no movie to associate the line with [yet]...sometimes what you come up with sucks.

Either way, I've decided to start collecting all my new ones here:

June 21, 2007 - "You're lucky you're gorgeous, baby, 'cause I'm wont to smack a bitch."

June 26, 2007 - " I can see why you like the Internet so much, Heather. It's not quite reality." (courtesy of Jason L.)

July 12, 2007 - "You're a full time writer? That's like a full time actor who's too lazy to be a waiter."

August 22, 2007 - "Have a beer with Ultraman. $1 (or I'll stab you)"

August 29, 2007 - "So if 40 is the new 30 and 30 is the new 20, I guess I can tell my 8 year old daughter not to worry, since 9 is the new -1."

soupy[land]

2007-06-21T12:42:00.000-05:00

everyone gets a pony
everyone gets an ipod
everyone gets a million dollars when they're born

antonym of mental constipation .1.2

2007-06-11T22:56:00.000-05:00

Simply 3 more evenings of rehearsal and 'Comedy of Errors' is up and running at St. Charles' version of Shakespeare in the Park.

I seem to fumble the small lines...

Regardless, the show seems to be pretty solid. Although, I'm not too keen on shoving a gun down my pants...

...I'm hungry.

deserving regret .1.2

2007-06-10T10:38:00.000-05:00

it's too bad...
We couldn't do anything to prevent this from happening.
it's too bad...
The timing of events unfolded in the way they did.
it's too bad...
There probably won't be a film festival payoff for about 21 hours of hard work.
it's too bad...
Bad people don't care to change for the better.
it's too bad...
Good people have to go through bad shit.

How you react to the events in your lifetime define who you are for the rest of it. There's no getting around that.

freedom from danger, risk, or injury.

2007-06-10T10:23:00.000-05:00

Safety at the workplace.
After what happened last night I feel uneasy. shocked. disgusted. upset that it could have happened to any one of us, simply because no one was thinking.
Never let your guard down.
I believe the director made the right decision. So we won't have a film entry this year. No big deal.
I'm just thankful he's unharmed.
The only reason I was able to get any sleep was just out of exhaustion. Working 30 hours out of 48 gets tough on the mind and the body.
Don't dwell on it.
I keep thinking how surreal everything felt after the incident. They didn't just hold one of us at gunpoint, they held us all. And ruined our weekend of all our hard work.
Don't dwell on it.

identity .1.2

2007-06-06T09:33:00.000-05:00

Driving home this morning I began thinking about what changed recently in my persona (I'm still an escapist) and came to the conclusion that it's all revolved around storytelling.

I love telling stories; funny ones mostly, but any story will do. And it seems as though I've run a bit dry on the story well. It doesn't do me any good to tell stories that I've told over and over again, but to create new stories with new adventures. I gotta get back in the grove and have some new adventures in my life. That's what I've missed.

I help to complete the story. I perform.

identity .1.

2007-06-05T11:52:00.000-05:00

who i am
who you are
who are you

I have an uneasy feeling that sometimes actors can get so lost in the characterization of different roles that they lose a sense of their own being. Not completely, but it seems possible.

If you're not careful can you forget who you are after a while?

I think of myself as an 'escapist'. I generally never liked being 'me', which led me to the visual art world and then to the performing arts.

the etiquette of betrayal - Hollywood style.

2007-06-05T11:20:00.000-05:00

According to Mamet in Bambi vs. Godzilla: "Should the project go awry, you will be notified by a complete lack of contact with those in whose hands its administration has rested."

I dislike, although, I accept.

cut and paste actor bio .1.

2007-06-04T20:54:00.000-05:00

[insert name here] is pleased to be working with [insert production company name here]. [circle one: He/She] has most recently been seen as [insert character name here] in [insert past production company's name here]'s production of [insert name of show here]. Special thanks to [insert names of who you're sleeping with, and/or family members] for all your love and support! Thanks for coming and enjoy the show!

deserving regret .1.

2007-06-04T19:14:00.000-05:00

it's too bad...
People are inherently complex physiological creatures... and still some just don't use their turn signals when driving.
it's too bad...
I've lived as long as i have... and don't show enough appreciation for it.
it's too bad...
I'm not a robot... although I'm glad I'm not.
it's too bad...
I haven't spent as much time as I would have liked to finding awesome bands... because there are a lot out there.
it's too bad...
I'm not rich... because I know I'd spend the money nice and frivolously.
it's too bad...
Some people don't spend enough time to get to know themselves... before they get to know someone else.
it's too bad...
The internet has created an opportunity for kids to be 'emo'... just get over it, already.

antonym of mental constipation .1.

2007-06-04T17:50:00.000-05:00

To begin: I never thought of starting a blog until recently, and even then I never knew what to 'blog' about. I figured there are probably three basic things I could use this for:

write some sort of diary
outline specific information about a topic I know well for general knowledge, or
bitch about stuff

I've never been good with keeping a diary or even expressing my own feelings, and I only really know a lot about very few topics (I'm the text-book definition of 'jack of all trades master of none'). Which leaves the last option on my list.

But as I think more and more about it. I don't just want to do something negative; I'll also try to throw in some good happy feeling type stuff.

So that's what I'll try to do.